If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card

October 1stvia and source with 315,442 notes

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.


For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial


  • start a boy band:


  • spot some choice booty:


  • break into song:


  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:


  • attend a metal show:


  • listen to some sick jams:


  • discover zombieism:


  • sample some tasty snacks:


  • watch someone get burned bad:


  • find something you really like:


  • find something you really, really like:


  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:


  • and wonder if you left the stove on:


October 1stvia and source with 361,173 notes


me as hell

October 1stvia and source with 165,305 notes


wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy

October 1stvia and source with 505,957 notes





I remember my trip two years ago, to San Francisco. I took a cab to this bridge while my sister was on a conference call. I stood there for about two hours, looking down, people watching, and wondering how far down the water was. A girl sat next to me, and asked me, “You’re not going to jump„ are you?” I smiled and reassured her I wasn’t. That I was just a tourist. She then said, “You look a lot like my sister. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. But I had to ask, can I hug you? You just look so much like her.” I felt awkward at first, but then I realized. “She jumped?” This girl’s face just crumpled, and she started crying. I hugged her, without a second thought, and for some reason I apologized. Not sure what else I could say. She goes, “Those were the last words she ever spoke to me.”

And I will never forget this girl, her name was Ariana.

reblogging just for the caption, omg. 

crying because of the caption omfg

awww i’m about to cry ;(

October 1stvia and source with 379,587 notes




This will reach a million posts before I stop reblogging EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

October 1stvia and source with 1,074,276 notes


Well it’s October first, so we all know what that means


October 1stvia and source with 2,353 notes



One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

The End.

Date the waitress.

October 1stvia and source with 309,284 notes



Ha’a Keaulana runs across the ocean floor with a 50 pound boulder. They do this as training to survive the massive surf waves of winter. She learned her amazing skills from her dad, legendary waterman #briankeaulana and her Grandpa, #Buffalo. I was very humbled to learn from the Hawaiians who have salt water running through their veins. Mahalo Nui Loa. Please stay tuned for our upcoming story on the Hawaiian surfing culture. 

Shared of @natgeo  

This is just.. Super impressive.

October 1stvia and source with 77,992 notes

male celebrities for Emma Watson’s #heforshe

October 1stvia and source with 89,270 notes




my head is hurting because i thought about my future for 0.3 seconds

you can get a headache from looking at something that bright

This is the most inspiring thing I’ve seen on tumblr.

October 1stvia and with 615,314 notes



So many things to ponder in bear life.

it must be unbearable

October 1stvia and source with 188,926 notes

"Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies"

Al Capone 

(via hefuckin)

October 1stvia and source with 89,184 notes


i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cool

October 1stvia and source with 552,085 notes


get your head in the game

October 1stvia and source with 367,098 notes